It’s a beautiful day in the Mother Hood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?

We all do scream a lot,
(why my husband smokes pot)
Not me though, I’m always just fine.
May I offer you some magnum red wine?

Two of my kids won’t wear pants,
One of them will pick all your plants,
The oldest will just ignore you,
And I won’t shut the f*ck up.

Our plot looks like a junk yard,
that was just looted and marred.
We do rake leaves as a chore,
For kids to jump in, spread out more.

I feel like a bird on a wire,
with my clothes on fire.
Can’t stop, drop or roll–
The rolls are for lunches and covered in mold.

Our house has 47 broken screens,
And our lawn is never green.
But I can offer you some half-eaten cake,
That my girls attempted to bake?

My kids are really cute,
Do you mind grabbing that boot?
My son threw it over the fence,
Aiming at a bird in defense.

If you live next to us on a lease,
You may never have any peace.
But if you’re looking for chaos,
I promise you’ll never be at a loss.

It’s a beautiful day in the Mother Hood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
Please! Won’t you be my neighbor?